Many Filipino women dream of being with a white man, and many of them as early as childhood have had fantasies of growing up one day and marrying one.
My Filipino wife told me that when she was a little girl, that she felt she would grow up one day to marry a foreigner and that she would live in America.
I told her that I had also heard similar stories from quite a few Filipino women I chatted with online before we met.
Being the jealous type, as most Filipino women are, she quickly asked, 'so, how many women did you talk to before we met'?
I never know exactly how to react in those jealous moments, so I can only try to imagine how a Filipino husband would deal with it.
Then I always come back to the thought of, 'wait a minute, I'm not a Filipino guy'. 'Puti Lalaki ako'.
Needless to say, it gets a little old having to defend yourself over and over, and it feels quite insulting.
So, after another routine acknowledgement that, yes, it's been said a zillion times that Filipino guys are bolero chickboys who always cheat when given the opportunity, I have to reassure her once again that isn't me.
I look her in the eyes and say, 'you know my intention is to always be faithful to you'.
It is the feeling of many Filipino women that Filipino men don't even have an intention of being faithful, even from the beginning of a relationship.
But, why can't I get it through to her that I have a complete inability to even relate to such gross inclinations of unfaithfulness?
I can only imagine that this unfaithful Filipino guy thing has been going on for so many hundreds or thousands of years, that distrust naturally became a built in instinct, or cellular memory, passed on from generation to generation.
How else could explain this level of distrust? Are the Filipino girls growing up witnessing such acts of unfaithfulness? Are they hearing stories of such from classmates and friends?
Could it be that while growing up they witness behaviour patterns among boys that suggest a lack of value or respect for females?
I do know that Filipino women value their friendships, with many of their female friends from childhood, high school, and college who continue chatting with them from time to time for a lifetime.
This would provide them with many true to life relationship examples and stories from other females they have come to fully trust and respect.
Hearing enough stories from these many friends who had a boyfriend or husband that cheated or left, would undoubtedly strengthen distrust for men within their minds.
On occasion, my wife has shown me photos of a friend of hers and then asked me if I remembered her, that she was at our wedding, or that I saw her in person somewhere while we were in the Philippines.
She then says, 'She is beautiful, right? Well, her Filipino husband has been cheating on her and gave her sexually transmitted disease when he came back from America'.
So, I look at her friend's photo again and the thought comes to me as to how much a fool this guy was.
I don't need to see the guy's photo, cause I already what I'll see. Another not so good looking guy with an arrogance of a Spanish Conquistador.
If you want to spiritualize it, you'll have thoughts like that God must have made the Filipino guys short and not so physically aluring to offset their arrogant hearts, but somehow that isn't working out so well.
What is not working out so well for Filipino women is Love, and by the way, you don't become obsessed with love songs to the extent they are unless you become utterly love starved.
My wife doesn't listen to music everyday, but if ever we're not getting along so well, she'll do her solitary confinement thing (tampo) for awhile, then afterwards it's time for a couple hours of karaoke sing along love songs.
Once I note her having sung her favorite love song about a dozen times or so, I now know it's time to go surprise her with a big hug and say, 'we're not broken, just bent, and we can learn to love again'.
As a white guy, if I am deemed the lesser of two evils, that Filipino women think of me as relatively more faithful compared to a Filipino guy, well, that kind of makes me sad actually. Am I the consolation prize?
Maybe it has just so happened that my wife has actually won the grand prize, and the consolation prize then goes to the Filipino guy who didn't get her.
I want to say in closing, 'long live Filipino women that love white guys'.